


Bilbo Leaves

by bofurrific



Series: Hobbit Drabbles [21]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Love, being alone in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 00:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/628385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bofurrific/pseuds/bofurrific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kink Meme Fill</p><p>Bofur is in love with Bilbo, planning their life together, but Bilbo was only in it for the fun, not realizing that dwarfs only love once and he has doomed Bofur to a life alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bilbo Leaves

Bofur leaned back against a pillar with pipe against his teeth, watching their hobbit, sitting in a corner exchanging stories with Ori. A smile lit the miner's face as he let his mind wander to his life with Bilbo.

He'd been somewhat captured by the halfling the moment he met him, the moment he crashed through the hobbit's door with half their company collapsing atop him. Bofur had found himself falling far further than affection, panicking somewhat when Bilbo was not in eyesight, begging him not to leave them and staying as close to him as much as he could.

Bilbo, of course, had noticed his affections, had responded to them in kind, and had even been the one to initiate the first kiss, climbing off the carrock the eagles had dropped them onto, tugging gently on Bofur's hat to draw him in and planting the sweetest kiss Bofur can ever remember receiving on his chapped lips. And Bofur fell. 

Dwarves give their hearts but once and Bilbo's kiss, his timid laugh and copper curls in the sunlight, his bravery and wit and his stories, pulled the heart from Bofur's chest and he had not the intention of ever asking for it back, content to leave it in the hobbit's capable hands.

The Shire was nice, Bofur thinks to himself. Certainly nice enough to make himself a home in with his hobbit. Good food, good music, lovely company of course. And although he had fought for Erebor, had joined this quest to take it back, it didn't feel like home. He was of the Khazad-dûm dwarves, poor and simple miners of Moria, before the Balrog chased them out, and the riches or Erebor, though lovely, were too much for him. Yes, the Shire would suit him much better, and anyway, home is where the heart is, isn't it? Home, was wherever Bilbo was.

Bofur could see it now, waking up with his hobbit every morning, kissing his button nose and sitting down to a hearty breakfast the halfing would fix them, then heading off to carve toys for the little fauntlings of Hobbiton, a craft he had learned in the Blue Mountains, and coming home to his Bilbo, to quiet nights by the fire with their pipes, to slow and steady love-making instead of the hurried and need fucking they had been doing on the quest. Bofur closed his eyes and imagined taking his lover to bed the way he wanted to, showing him all his appreciated for the hobbit's body and having the time to show him more pleasure than the hobbit had ever known, for Bofur prided himself on being a thorough lover and it was somewhat abrasive to his pride to have to rush and be quiet amongst the rock and bushes of their trail.

Bofur had waited so long, had watched his younger brother find love with a wonderful lass in the Blue Mountains and sire fourteen children, something of a record amongst their kind, had watched his cousin find a wife and son and then lose them in the war, and had been so alone all this time, thinking his One would never find him, had perhaps perished long ago and he was not meant to ever settle down. And then a halfing grasped his hat and kissed his lips and he knew all his waiting was done, was worth it.

A thump, echoing loudly in the great halls of Erebor, pulled Bofur out of his dreaming and he glanced back to the corner where Ori and Bilbo were seated, finding that Ori had dropped his sketch book and had a rather mortified expression on his face. The young dwarf's wide eyes met his, and he shook his head, before he leaned down to regather his fallen book and scuttle away from the hobbit, who merely looked confused.

Bofur pulled away from the pillar to join his One, who was still frowning after Ori. The hobbit looked up at him, slightly exasperated. "I don't know what I said. We were just talking about what we're going to do now that it's all over."

Bofur smiled gently and assumed that Ori was going to be upset to see him and their hobbit leave. He took a seat on the bench beside Bilbo and rested a hand on the hobbit's thigh. 

"When were you wanted to go back to the Shire, then?" He asked, since they were already on the subject. "It's a little far from Bifur and Bombur, but I don't mind making the trek to see them and of course your home has enough rooms that they could come visiting as well, if you don't mind." And of course Bilbo wouldn't mind; he understood family.

Bilbo wasn't answering him, and when Bofur looked down, a lead weight dropped in his stomach. The hobbit was frowning and looking somewhat confused, glancing up at him and hesitating, like he had something to say he knew Bofur wouldn't like and wasn't sure quite how to say it. And Bofur understood just then why Ori had looked so horrified.

"Ah.. Well I do have many rooms..." The halfling began. "But wouldn't you rather stay here? Isn't this why you came on this journey? You can..Hrmm. You can visit, surely if you'd like..." Bilbo trailed off, looking down and wringing his hands, and Bofur realizes the agony he is feeling must be showing on his face.

Bilbo stood abruptly, knocking Bofur's hand from his thigh. "I'm sorry, I think you must have misunderstood my intentions." The hobbit shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Or maybe I wasn't clear enough. It was just...It was just a bit of fun." He stopped and dared to meet Bofur's eyes, and the miner ached to see Bilbo so distressed over this, over him, but could bring himself to comfort their burglar when his chest felt suddenly too tight and he couldn't catch his breath in the face of Bilbo's rejection, of his own stupidity. And then Bilbo apologizes and says he thinks it really is time for him to go and he has started to walk away.

And because Bofur is Bofur, because he cannot bear the fact that Bilbo is upset over this even when it is his own heart lying in shattered pieces somewhere in his stomach instead of where it belongs, whole and safe in Bilbo's hands, he jumped from the bench, gently grabbing the hobbit's arm in what he hopes is reassurance. 

"It's all right, lad." He found himself saying, the words a little choked but otherwise steady. "I shouldn't have assumed. We dwarfs do things differently is all." He gave Bilbo's shoulder a pat, a watery smile, and let the hobbit go. He couldn't tell him, couldn't let the little halfing know what his rejection has done to Bofur, that they only love once and now that his love is not retuned, he is doomed to spend the rest of his ample lifetime alone and aching in the dark, always wishing for his hobbit.


End file.
